petition to stop the use of the word schlong
what is schlong with it
why cant we all just get aschlong
I never reblog this shit but mine is Burgerking Bandersnatch and it made me laugh so much.
Benedict Combyourthatch omfg
Bonapart Numbercrunch. I like it.
For as much as they tell you about Stop Drop and Roll as a kid, I really expected to be on fire more times in my life.
do you ever get into one of those situations where you’re like “I need to stop hating this particular person it’s not going to get me anywhere I’m just going to grow up and move on with my life” but then they do the tiniest thing to piss you off and then you’re like “nope fuck you right off I want to throw you off a bridge”
do your eyes ever randomly go out of focus and then you are too lazy to focus them back in and just stare at nothing for a while
So in English class we had to draw a scene from The Great Gatsby. After the drawings were done the teacher was showing them to the class, and one drawing was a pic of Gatsby reaching towards at the green light, but in the drawing Gatsby didn’t have hands. So my teacher starts saying something like how this picture has hidden meaning and portrays the helplessness Gatsby feels, and the kid next to me just casually says “I can’t draw hands.”
NOW WE KNOW WHAT ADAM DID IN HELL
I just fell in love with Jake Abel all over again
‘stop being overdramatic’ they say
‘i dont know what you mean’ i say as i descend from the ceiling, surrounded by mist
Life is too short to not wear nice lingerie.
I’m getting so anxious about everything that I can’t watch new episodes of tv shows or see movies in the theatre help how do I fix this
